On Wednesday morning, I walked into a middle school which had quite possibly the best student culture I’ve ever seen. Located in a small, nondescript building a few blocks away from Times Square, the school’s name is De La Salle Academy.
Founded in 1984, DLSA is a co-ed, private, independent school for 170 academically talented 6th through 8th graders. 94% are kids of color and half hail from families of modest financial means. The school sends most of its 8th graders to highly-selective high schools like Collegiate, Horace Mann, Andover, Exeter, Bronx Science and Stuyvesant. But that’s not what makes the school unique.
Early that morning, I walked into Carson Hall – the main gathering area seen above – and found about a hundred students socializing. One by one (and in an unprompted manner), students approached us, smiled and shook our hands, welcoming us to the school. They radiated love for their school. When we asked them what they liked the most about DLSA, almost all of them said the same thing: “the community.” They liked the sense of belonging, the bonds they shared with teachers and other students, the sense of family, warmth and care. They felt included.
We entered at 8am — 30 minutes before school started — and most of the students were already there. Show me a school – any middle school – where two-thirds of the adolescent student body arrives 30 minutes early.
What is the secret behind DLSA’s incredible school culture?
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I recently listened to the famed psychologist Angela Duckworth describing what might be called the “Maslow misconception.” You’ve heard of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The bottom rung is food and safety, followed by social belonging in the middle and self-actualization at the very top. But Duckworth points out that the top of this pyramid is based on a misunderstanding: “If you actually read Maslow, he would say that the true evolved life – what we should all be doing – is service to others.” She continues, “The term ‘self-actualization’ is misleading because it sounds selfish: my cooking, my writing skills.” Despite what one might think from looking at Maslow’s pyramid, the highest ideal should be in service to others. We should all embrace the famous motto of Phillips Andover: Non Sibi, or “not for self.”
Yet this idea of other-directedness runs against the grain of American values. In Culturally Responsive Teaching and the Brain, Zaretta Hammond contrasts two broad cultural archetypes. Cultures can be categorized along a continuum from Collectivism (valuing group success, relationships and collaboration) to Individualism (valuing individual achievement, self-promotion and competition). And when comparing the cultures of 65 countries on this Collectivism-Individualism continuum, where’s the United States? It’s the single most individualistic culture. In Hammond’s words, the dominant US narratives and norms “revolve around a self-reliant ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ mindset’ with a focus on competition and self-promotion.”
If you really think about it, this pervasive individualism manifests itself everywhere in our schools. In our classrooms at AF, we have individual desks instead of larger, communal tables. We expect students to raise “vertical hands” to stand out. We narrate and praise individual students for their work habits, instead of recognizing groups. We have a merit-demerit “paycheck” system where students are paid for their individual work. And I could go on.
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Let’s go back to my visit to De La Salle. The idea of “servant leadership” – of placing others’ needs before our own – is at the core of DLSA’s culture. And the school is actively trying to foster a counterculture, one that runs against the unfettered individualism of our dominant culture.
In fact, they’re willing to sometimes take extreme stances to build that counterculture. For example, the school’s founder – Brother Brian Carty – told us that “there’s no competition” at DLSA. They don’t rank students against each other; they don’t put up the best student work on bulletin boards. There’s also no dating at the school. The school’s website gives the reason: “We avoid any and all exclusive relationships. Dating is exclusive behavior and does great harm to the community.” Competition and dating are antithetical to the collectivist, community-oriented culture they are trying to build.
DLSA has also built intentional structures to foster servant leadership. Each morning, homeroom begins with a student-led prayer, which is punctuated by asking for any wishes or “intentions.” When I was there, one student said, “One student said, “Please keep Mr. ________’s family in our thoughts after the death of his family.” Another student said, “I just found out that there’s an uptick in the depression and suicide rates for teenagers, so keep them in our thoughts.” There’s no custodial staff, so students are expected to give to the school each day by cleaning up. The school has an intergenerational service-learning partnership with Sweet Readers, where students visit Alzheimer’s patients for six weeks.
I’ll close with a story that I saw in the Principal’s letter. The principal, Dr. Angel Gonzalez, is an alum of DLSA, and he wrote about his own student experience when he was a 6th grader:
“One of my earliest memories from my first few weeks at DLSA was not about my successes, but rather my inability to be a good community member. This experience was during my sixth grade social studies class. My partner and I were working on creating a replica pyramid. While we were making it, I started bragging about how great our pyramid was and how horrible I thought the others appeared. This of course was not very Lasallian of me.
“The next day my teacher asked to see me during my study period. When I walked into her classroom, there she was sitting with my project partner! After getting over my initial confusion, I began to piece together that both of them were meeting to confront me about my behavior in class. I felt angry, embarrassed and betrayed. Why would another student ‘tell on me’ and also then confront me with a teacher?
While it took me some time to process, I eventually realized that this person was not trying to simply get me in trouble, but rather invite me into the community. Who knows the person I would have become were it not for my partner having the courage to hold me accountable in that moment? What I learned that day was that at De La Salle Academy, love looks different.”
At this community, love does look very different.